When Sara Dobie Bauer e-mailed me and asked if I wanted to check out this anthology she was in full of erotic tales for moms, I was in before I finished reading the e-mail.
Look. I’m married. I have a kid.
But dammit I’m not dead.
I’ve spent the past week at the RT Booklover’s Convention in Atlanta, Georgia and let me tell you, there has been some serious eye candy walking around. I’m not above slapping the person I’m with and muttering something about how pretty the guy without a shirt is or how delicious I find the tatted up guy with the biceps that don’t quit. Believe me, I’ve seen both.
Being a mom is, seriously, the hardest job I’ll ever have. (That’s saying a lot, because I have a lot of jobs!) It also seems that there is some stigma that once you become a mom your life is snot and puke and dirty diapers and censored language.
It’s not. We were people before we had kids. We had needs and fantasies, and said fuck a lot. (Okay, not everyone. But I did.) Just because we popped a tiny human out a very small hole doesn’t mean any of those things about us have changed. It means our priorities have shifted. It means we have a tiny human dependent on us for things. It means we may stop saying fuck a lot. (That was not the case in my life.)
Women go through a lot of changes when they have kids, and sometimes the effects are long lasting. Post-partum depression, stretch marks, baby weight, feelings of helplessness, inadequacy, and sheer terror are all things that may or may not happen.
Through it all, we also need to remember self-care. It’s okay to daydream about the hot guy walking his dog at the park. It’s okay to spice it up in the bedroom. Because you know what they say—if momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.
Side note… Sara’s story is about a UPS man. Which cracked me up because back in the short stretch of time I was a stay-at-home mom (not by choice, by downsizing), I had the nicest UPS man who would bring stuff inside even though he wasn’t supposed to, especially when I was tied up with the baby. My friends loved to pick on me about the size of the packages he brought to the house. *shrug* I say they’re just jealous their UPS men aren’t as awesome.
So curl up with your Kindle and a copy of If Mom’s Happy: Stories of Erotic Mothers and get on with a little me-time. You earned it, girl.
About the book:
The path through mothering affects nearly every aspect of sexuality: intimacy, identity, reproduction, body image, gender roles and expression, vulnerability, reciprocity, skin hunger, and so much more. Like great erotica, mothering explores the complexity of sexuality–the ache, the ecstasy, and everything in between.
Pick up a copy of the book!
Sara Dobie Bauer is a writer, model, and mental health advocate with a creative writing degree from Ohio University. She spends most days at home in her pajamas as a book nerd and sex-pert for SheKnows.com. Her short story, “Don’t Ball the Boss,” was nominated for the 2015 Pushcart Prize, inspired by her shameless crush on Benedict Cumberbatch. She lives with her hottie husband and two precious pups in Northeast Ohio, although she would really like to live in a Tim Burton film. She is the author of Life without Harry, Forever Dead, Wolf Among Sheep, Bite Somebody, and Bite Somebody Else.